At A Loss

What do you do when you’re so overwhelmed by all the current failures in your life- lack of steady income, an unfamiliar city, a dent in your beautiful new car, a lack of any life purpose, steady career path, or goals, that every afternoon when your partner leaves for work, you cry? You just cry and cry and find new ways to quiet your sobs from your neighbors, and then spend time before she gets home making it seem like you’re fine.

Because you’re not fine. You’re forgetting things, you’re fighting with your partner, you miss sex, you don’t feel like having sex because you feel worthless and not sexy, and you feel extraordinarily inadequate at the extremely part time, low paying job you do have.

You feel like you can’t talk to your partner because it seems like there all these little digs lately, because you’re stressing your partner out, because the last thing you want is to be your partner’s emotional and financial burden. Because your partner doesn’t have enough money, because your partner is going through a rough time with her family and you don’t want to add onto any of that.

So you just keep it to yourself and you cry. But it’s not working because lately you just cry more and more and more.

So what do you do?


About tabbyqt

My main blog is at This is my coming out story. This is the first time I fell in love and the complications that came with it. This is how I found out who I am.
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2 Responses to At A Loss

  1. lanie belluz says:

    Breathe, girl, breathe! Focus on yourself – make lists, make a plan, have a strategy or just go to a movie and try to take your mind off things for a bit. Wait, this was February – what’s up now?

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